June 2015

  At some point in jail, in June they finally forced me to go to general population. I would be in a pod of up to 70 to 80 people max. An officer was escorting me down the hallway to this pod, I was telling him how scared and  nervous I was.  He promised me I would get my own Cell. The name tag on his vest he was wearing said "Campbell" and it was it not his correct name. He exchanged a vests with another person. On the way down the Hall I started to have a severe panic attack. I was shaking so bad carrying a storage bin of clothing, pillow, hygiene and typical jail stuff an inmate would need. so I put the bin down as I was shaking, and I told him I was having a panic attack. He responded "sir, I don't know what's going on with you, but we have to keep moving". Apparently this guy has never had any anxiety problems ever his life. I collected myself after a minute or so and entered K pod. Everyone was in their cells napping after a lunch. Lights were out. I was overwhelmed with the cold hard cement and steel atmosphere of my reality seen the double decker pod. A heavy cell door clicked open, I went to it to discover someone was in it. I went to the bubble office intercom which is an enclosed  glass area with officers inside,  and told them that I was supposed to get my own cell, but he kept pointing out " Hey it's jail" and that I had no choice. I was  Tricked!

   I quietly went into the cell trying not to wake my celly. I tried to put sheets on the tiny 2 inch mattress so I could lay down, but my celly woke up. His name was "Jay" and he told me he was sentenced to 5 years. I thought "Oh shit, this guy is dangerous". Five years to me at the time seemed like a lot. But he turned out to be a nice intelligent guy. Claimed to be a former doctor. Did time for too many d.u.i's  and had 3 years suspended. He never had to go to prison. Instead they sent him to rehab. He hung with the troublemaker crowd. Therefore I never associated with him nor them whenever we were forced to be out in the pod. I would just walk the perimeter of the pod people very fast and nervously. everyone could tell I was nervous and had never been locked up before, but when  when we were in our cells together, he lost his tough guy attitude and read me his really good poetry and I mean really good. During lockouts I paced around the pod. Never found anyone to talk to. for a good 2 days everyone could sense my anxiety and fear one person pointed out.

  My skin condition Psboric Dermatitis started to flare up. So I had to splash water on my face about every 5 minutes. Otherwise, it looked like I had dandruff covering my entire face and people would question it.  My first shower, and every shower whilst in this pod was super cold because of the drafty wind that blows underneath the stalls and above you. Also there are cameras above your head. So I always worried about my lack of privacy being seen naked with every shower. 

 A Book cart was wheeled into the pod. The first book I tried to read was "Beowolf". But Majority of the book, my anxiety was so high, I could not focus on the book. I was too aware of the other inmates including one guy behind me always talking to himself and one guy claiming to be Jesus.  Other inmates would be doing pull ups under the stairway or playing chess if you find a board with all the pieces. Eventually, I found a few an inmate I could be tolerate to be around and was harmless. He taught me how to play chess and we walked around the pod, talking about our friends and family and desire to be free.

  My Dad eventually came for a virtual visit. He put money on my account and I was able to buy a radio to be able to listen to the tv, and snacks. Once I had a radio, I could watch movies with the other inmates. I finally got to watch the movie "Purple Rain" for the first time. 

  The view from my cell window, was of a football field. We had some pretty severe storms around that time, and it was nice to watch the lightning storms from the window. In the mornings, would see deer eating grass. 

  It seemed that I was finally starting to "settle in" a bit. I finally had at least one person to talk to and walk around with and chat. Also, when no one was using the indoor basketball area, I would shoot hoops by myself, and realized I came to be very good at doing 3 pointer shots probably better than all 70+ people in the pod. But I am not into contact sports, with my fragile spine condition (ankylosing spondylitis), I would not be able to handle it. 

  I started to learn general jail rules. Just keep your head down, and do not associate with the wrong people. Don't give details about your case (I really messed up on that one eventually) But I continued to enjoy walking around with my one associate who looked very much like a young Michael Keaton. I always told him if I ever get to be a millionaire, I'm gonna have him do a Batman 3 lol. 

 Over time though, things change. People come and go. Either they are released, get out on bond, or a fight breaks out and are moved. The first fight I saw, was horrifying. I do not know the circumstances of why they were fighting, but it was between 2 white Muslims.  They were very close to the cement walls. After about 2 or 3 jabs, one guy hit the other so hard, it was a knock out punch-his face hit the cement wall as his head and body fell down along side of it, smearing blood all the way down across the wall. It was very bloody and very graphic.  Rumor was, his skull and eye area got broke so bad, he was permanently blind in one eye from that day on.

  Most inmates would argue and even physically fight over the dumbest things like what to watch on tv (since a whole pod of 70 people had to choose which channels on 2 tvs. Jail is not like prison where everyone has their own tv. People would also argue or fight over phones because each pod might have 8 phones, but only 4 work. So you had to request to inmate to be in line. But he might forget you, or intentionally give the phone to his buddy instead of you. This is crucial because maybe you had an important phone call to your family or lawyer. But these guys sounded to just be wasting time talking to there "white B!tches" as they ALWAYS referred to them as. They would frequently grab their crotches completely in public not caring if anyone sees they are basically masturbating. 

  Anyway, My celly Jay, was approved to be an inmate worker for the jail kitchen. So he was no longer my celly. He moved out. I don't think I was alone for more than a day before my next celly moved in. His name was Mike. Young white California looking kid. Super skinny. Seemed to be no one to be feared. How ever, later on, he would turn the whole pod against me.

  Just as I was FINALLY getting in a routine of things, locking in for count one day, he once demanded from me a peanut butter snack. I said no. I have very little food left. He responded "You know I know what your charges are right?". Why would this guy look me up or google me or look into my case!? I asked him. He said he likes to know who he is bunking with. I said a person should not care about such things. we are all in here for something. So I felt obligated to tell him everything about my case and assured him that I did not even have a hands on victim.

  He promised he wouldn't tell. But 20 minutes later, about 80% of the pod backed me into a corner asking me a million questions all at the same time. I had to request the attention of a guard and request to be moved. I was obviously not safe in that pod anymore with people jumping to conclusions. Meanwhile, it was my celly that was even telling me he was worried he'd be charged with manslaughter as he gave 2 females bad drugs and was responsible for their death. Yet, I am the bad guy with no hands on victim.