There is little to do now except keep watch and daydream. My life keeps passing before my eyes in intricate detail, like a B-movie rerun too often. I try to shift my thoughts to the things that I want to do when I am freed. I will spend more time with friends and let them know that I love them. Daydream of future plans of being free, of business, invention ideas and big happy meals, ease my desperation. STOP IT! You are not there. You are here in purgatory. Do not give yourself false hope. Think about survival! But the desire still lingers. It is my one relief. I slowly come to terms with the disappointments of my past. But i begin to see that I have had some valuable experiences and training in my hardships. possibly even enough to survive this. If I can pull through, I will be able to lead a better life. And even if I don't live to see my 32nd year, maybe I can still make this time useful. My writings can be found in my cell. My ideas may be useful to someone to chan...
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